funny-jokes-in-english

Best Funny Jokes in English Chutkule For Whatsapp

Funny Jokes in English 😝Chutkule For Whatsapp Facebook Best Doctor & Student Funny Movement Very Very Funniest Collection 2021 Friends Share Jokes On Facebook Whatsapp English Jokes Chutkule

Funny Jokes in English

funny-jokes-in-english-chutkule

How to Kill a mosquito:
Catch it alive,
Tie its legs
then make gudgudi in its stomach
and when it laughs
,Catch its mouth
& pour a spoon of Poison ….😝😜

Wife : had ur lunch.?
Husband : had ur lunch.?
Wife : i m asking you
Husband : i m asking you
Wife : u copying me.?
Husband : u copying me?
Wife : lets go shopping
Husband :Yes i had my lunch😝😜😝😜

  Postman: I have to come 5 miles
to deliver you this packet.
Santa: Why did u come so far?.
Instead U could have posted it

Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Patient: Doctor, I keep getting the feeling that nobody can hear what I say.
Doctor: What seems to be the trouble?
Doctor: You’re in good health. You’ll live to be eighty.
Patient: But, doctor, I am 80 right now.
Doctor: See, what did I tell you.

Hi i am marrying next week
there will be a small party and
only few persons will be invited
Hey don’t bring any gift
just bring SOMEONE to marry me.😝😜😝😜😝😜

When a Guy does Something Wrong…
Girl : You broke my Favorite Lamp !!!
Boy : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!!
Girl : I can’t believe you did this.
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !! :/ :/ :/
When a Girl does Something Wrong…
Boy : You Lost My Dog??!!!
Girl : It was an Accident… I didn’t mean to..!!
Boy : I can’t believe you did this.
Girl : I already feel bad about it..!! Stop making me feel Worse..!!
Boy : I’m Sorry.. !! :/ :/ :/

Man: Is there any way for long life?
Dr: Get married.
Man: Will it help?
Dr: No, but the thought of long life will never come.😝😜

Patient: Doctor, I have a serious memory problem. I can’t remember anything!
Doctor: So, since when did you have this problem?
Patient: What problem?

Very Funny Jokes in English

Do you believe in life after death? the boss asked one of his employees.
‘Yes, Sir,’ the new recruit replied.
‘Well, then, that makes everything just fine,’ the boss went on.
‘After you left early yesterday to go to your grandmother’s funeral, she stopped in to see you.’

The Pilot, between flights, overheard, listened to they problem, and said,
‘I’ll tell you what, I’ll take you up flying, and if you don’t say a word the ride is on me,
but if you utter one sound, you pay ten dollars.
So off they flew.
The Pilot doing as many rolls and dives as he could –
heading to the ground as fast as the plane could go, and pulling out of the dive at just the very last second.
Not a word. Finally he admited defeat and went back the airport.
‘I’m surprised, why didn’t you say anything?’
‘Well I almost said something when Sue fell out, but ten dollars is ten dollars.’

A student is talking to his teacher.
Student: ‘Would you punish me for something I didn`t do?’
Teacher: ‘Of course not.’
Student: ‘Good, because I haven’t done my homework.’😝😜😝😜

Wats d height of hope??
It is: sittin in d exam hall,
holdin d question paper in hand
n tellin ur self
“dude,dnt worry.
Exams wil get postponed!”

One male parrot looks over at the other male parrot and screams, ‘Put your Bible away Idiot,
our prayers have been answered!!!!!!!’

Dad to son: when I beat you how do you control your anger?
Son: I start cleaning toilet
Dad: How does that satisfy you?
Son: I clean it with your toothbrush.😝😜

It’s funny when people discuss Love Marriage vs. Arranged.
It’s like asking someone, if suicide is better or being murdered.

The patient says, ‘Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea.’
The doctor says, ‘Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink.’
mug = cup

The patient says, ‘Doctor, you’ve got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attention to what I have to say.
The doctor says, ‘Next, please.’😝😜😝😜😝😜

MOM ALWAYS SAID…
Money Doesn’t Grow On Trees
Mom!!!! money is made from
paper & paper comes from trees.
Therefore your argument is
invalid..

Gals have two major problems with their wardrobe:
1. Nothing to wear &
2. No place to keep her clothes.
Guys have two major problems with their laptop:
1. Nothing to watch &
2. No space for anything new..!!😝😜

5 ways for man to be happy with women
1. Be with a women who makes you laugh…
2. Be with a women who gives u her time…
3. Be with a women who takes care of you…
4. Be with a women who really loves you…
5. Finally, make sure these four women don’t know
each other!

If women ruled the world there would be no wars…
It would just be a group of jealous countries, not talking to each other. ;

When a woman loves you, you are a husband
When a few women love you, you are a man
When many women love you, you are a lover
When hundreds of women love you, you are an idol
When thousands of women love you, you are a leader
But,
When all the women in the world love you,
you are not human… You are a diamond,
gold, a rupee, a dollar, a euro, or a yen..

Funny Jokes in English Chutkule

A Girl Takes 100 Pics In A
Day N Deletes 99pictures.
One Picture
That Seems Better.
She Uploads N
Comments ? Aaise Hi
Bethi Thi Yar Kisi Ne Click Kar Li?😝😜😝😜

FUNNY ULTIMATE TRUTHS :
1.Whenever I find the key to success,
someone changes the lock.
2.The road to success is always under construction
3.In order to get a loan,
you first need to prove that you don’t need it
4.All the desireable things in life are either illegal, expensive or married
5.Once you have bought something,
you will find the same item being sold somewhere else at a cheaper rate
Enjoy life !

Ladies hostel caught Fire
It took 1 hour to bring the Fire under control
& another 3 hrs 2 bring d Firemen
under control.😝😜

A newly married girl got first class in her B.Ed exams. Her husband sent telegram to her parents – Ruby First Class in Bed!😝😜😝😜😝😜